Did I mentioned I also write short stories?
In the heat of the moment last week I decided to take a weeks’ vacation. I had nothing planned due to limited funds, which is depressing. I found myself trying to think of things that would keep me occupied while at home. HR reached out to me regarding a mentor, and I gladly accepted. My previous mentor reached out the same week. So, my day off consists of two mentor meets. Positive? Yes. I now have a schedule.
I planned my week, and everything looked bright until David reached out. The discussion was heated; there was no time for hello and good morning. We started arguing because he accused me of something stupid. The conversation and tension cooled down. We spoke as adults, and it was nice to hear from him, but sad to know his son was with the state. I felt horrible because the last conversation we had, I told him he was a great father.
Despite everything, we spoke, and he explained what triggered him that night we had that big fight. When I touched his face, he remembered his ex-wife beating on him. He apologized for his behavior, and so did I. He admitted he was happy to reach out to me, as I’m the only person he could ever speak with.
My vacation is now upside down. Apart from me wanting to spend my entire week with him, but another part knew I should not. On Friday, I left early for lunch to visit him. The first thing I noticed was how lovely his apartment was. He had gained weight but in a good way. He hugged and kissed me.
I don’t need to go into details; we can use our imagination for the next three days. Damn Natasha, why is this man your weakness? David is the only person you can’t seem to give the boot. When he enters my life, any relationship before him fades. He’s like a drug, and I can’t kick the habit.
But let’s rewind to Monday, the day he reached out. Due to his head injury in the military, he has trouble remembering things. We spoke on the pregnancy, which he could not recall, but he sympathized with me.
Now fast forward to Wednesday, the conversation after that wild encounter ended with, if you get pregnant, you’re keeping my child. Ahh. No!! His response, please do not put yourself through the abortion again; I want a son.
Readers, if you ask me why I did it, I have no clue; let’s agree this is a borderline personality disorder.
On Saturday we got together. We watched television and laid on the couch, with him behind me. I sat up, kiss his head, rubbed his face, and watched him slept. I told him he looked uncomfortable, he said, let’s lay in the room. It was clear he was tired. However, our needs kicked in. Was it passionate? Yes, why?
Readers, you don’t want to know the details.
Then came the guilt. I’m giving my body, affection, and time to a damaged guy with trust issues. At the same time, we cannot ignore the feeling towards each other. It’s a mutual attraction both physically and sexually. We can’t sit in the same room and keep our clothes on.
But what makes me different from his ex, who carried on with other men while he served our country.
I am single, and that was the difference.
I’ can’t explain what draws me to this man. It’s not just sex, a childhood crush from high school.
And yet, I know all too well how our encounter will end. There is no cure for stupid, gullible, or whatever you choose to label me. I can’t explain my emotions because I cannot comprehend my actions. What I do know is, moving on from David will be a challenge. They say guard your heart, and it’s not that easy with him.
I ask myself difficult questions, why does David even talk to me. David, I don’t know why I’m like this with you. Honestly, it’s going to take me telling myself STOP!! And allowing myself to go through a mourning period for me to give up on us. For now, I know you are going through a lot, and I want to stick around and help you battle those demons, and I hope Junior comes back. I always get emotional when you come to my mind. I left the door to my heart open, just for you.
At what point should the mourning start?
**If you enjoy the short story and would like to read more, write a comment on this post. Short Story – Serenity (wordpress.com)